


Tears Stream Down Your Face (When You Lose Something You Cannot Replace)

by PlatonicLovers



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: 5x04, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Unlimited Hugs For Danny Because he Deserves Them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2014-11-15
Packaged: 2018-02-25 11:56:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2620838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlatonicLovers/pseuds/PlatonicLovers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Steve has been waiting for his Danno to come home from New Jersey and the two do a lot of talking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tears Stream Down Your Face (When You Lose Something You Cannot Replace)

**Author's Note:**

> I just marathon-ed the last few episodes and I’m full of so many feelings of love and adoration for these two and sadness because I want to cuddle Danny so bad so here’s my take on post 5x04. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Steve or Danny or H50 but one day I’ll buy the show and make them cannon *evil cackle* This is filled with lots of emotion and hurt/comfort and I’ve had so many feelings fit into this so I hope you enjoy reading.

He was waiting patiently for him to come home. It had been a week and four days since Danny left to inform his family of his brother’s death and to plan and attend the funeral. Steve called daily to check in and let him know he was there if Danny needed anything and he wasn’t alone, but even Steve knew it meant more. ‘I’m here for you’ was the doorway to ‘I’ll be waiting with open arms, and I’ll try my best to make the hurt go away.’

Standing in Reyes’ office as one of his guards rolled in a barrel with his brother’s remains, he saw the look on Danny’s face of sheer despair. As his eyes welled up and his lip trembled, Steve wanted to grab him and hold on tight before he broke down, before he cried;  _Before his world would fall apart._

Even when he passed the gun to Danny while fighting the guards he knew Danny was going to kill Reyes and he didn’t even try to stop him. Whatever tiny relief would come out of the revenge kill, Steve allowed because Danny needed to be in control of the pain and suffering he’d felt since Matty got on that plane.

The whole way home from Colombia, Danny hadn’t said a word and Steve didn’t push; he’d talk in his own time. It was enough that Steve held his hand the entire flight and pressed kisses into his hair throughout as the tears silently streamed down his face and onto Steve’s shoulder. He spent the next day making arrangements and left on an evening flight with Grace for New Jersey. Rachel, who had always found Matt charming was also grieving and she offered her condolences and support but for Danny, having Gracie by his side was a huge comfort itself. He knew it would be hard but she deserved to say a proper goodbye and being surrounded with his family would make it a little easier.

 

* * *

 

It was 7.25am and Steve was waiting at the airport. He searched the crowd of people who were emerging from the terminal, and five minutes later spotted the pair. Danny looked rough; with bags under his eyes and an unshaven beard, the sparkle and fire in his eyes that Steve knew two months ago were faded. Grace was the first to see him and instead of letting go of Danny and running like she usually would, she simply pulled her father to walk a little faster.

“Hey Grace-face and Mr Bear.” Steve gave her a gentle smile and she was appreciative of him acknowledged the bear she always travelled with and was never without at sleepovers.

“Hey Uncle Steve.” She looked up at Danny hesitantly before nodded, letting her know it was okay to let go of his hand.

Steve bent down to envelope her into a big hug as he kept his eyes fixed on Danny, who attempted to smile although Steve wasn’t buying it.

“Hey monkey, can I get in on this Uncle Steve hug too?”

Steve stood, picking up Grace and tightly pulled an arm into Danny, pressing a kiss to his forehead before protectively holding his back. He made sure to be gentle with the side Grace was on, and the three of them stood in the middle of baggage claim embracing the comfort.

 

* * *

 

Since Grace had been away for an extended time, Danny told Rachel he’d drop her off before going home, although she didn’t mind Grace being with him a few extra days. However, Danny protested and as much as he wanted to be with his little girl, she needed some normality from her mom, house, friends and school. As they pulled up to the driveway, the three got out.

Grace looked unsurely at the door, and took a step closer to Danny, still holding on tightly to his hand. “Daddy I don’t wanna go. What if you need hugs like this week?”

“Baby, you have been the best company daddy could have for the last week and a half. But now your mommy misses you so you gotta give her some of your magical charm too, okay? I’d give anything for you to stay with me forever and ever but it wouldn’t be fair to not share all your wonderfulness” Danny replied.

“And don’t worry about the hugs; until the next time I see you, Captain Army pants’ hugs over there will do” he added, turning to Steve and giving him a sincere smile.

She gave Danny a smile and walked over to Steve for hug, before returning to Danny as he pulled her in for a last, firm bear hug.

“Love you loads Danno. You can call me if you wanna talk” she added, before walking towards the door.

“I will baby. See you on the weekend monkey, I love you so much.”

With that, the pair made their way back to the car and on their way to Steve’s house. He glanced over at Danny a number of times on the drive back, but his gaze was fixed at the window. He reached over to place a gentle hand on Danny’s when the traffic light turned red and without looking, he turned his hand over and held on to Steve’s until the light changed.

They reached the house in ample time and Steve carried Danny’s luggage to the slight protest of Danny, mumbling something to do with having full use of his arms.

“Want something to eat or drink Danno?” Steve asked entering the kitchen, checking his fridge for food.

“I had some tea on the plane” Danny stated as he followed Steve.

“I know there’s so much going on but you’ve gotta eat babe” with a little nod, Steve reheated leftover Chinese and some dumplings and the two of them took their food to the sofa and watched whatever was on the TV, although neither were paying much attention.

After a while, Steve cleared the plates and saw Danny on the sofa, eyes slowly closing every few minutes.

“Hey Danno, do you wanna get some sleep? You’ve had a long flight; you can take my room.” He waited cautiously to get a response.

“Yeah.”

As Danny got up and walked towards the stairs, Steve stopped him, spun him around as he placed his hands at either side of Danny's shouders and looked at him for a moment. He looked up with his bright blue eyes as Steve noticed his eyes were shining from the wetness building up. Danny blinked hard as he pulled himself into Steve’s chest, and Steve quickly wrapped both hands around him.

“I’m so sorry Danno.” Steve said helplessly, knowing Danny was hurting but not being able to do anything to stop it.

“I just feel guilty. I spent the week crying because I lost my brother, but a part of me is crying for what I lost the moment he came to Hawaii. If he didn’t do that, if he didn’t mess up and get involved in all the crap he did, he wouldn’t have gotten on the plane. If he didn’t get on the plane there wouldn’t be people chasing him and I could have helped him; I could have protected him. He wouldn’t have ended up dead.” Danny spat but although a part of him was angry, he was still aching at his loss.

“I wouldn’t have had to tell ma and pa that their son had died so young for the stupidest of reasons. I coulda done something Steve.” Danny had gone over everything in his head, from different angles and perspectives all week but somehow spilling it to Steve out loud felt relieving in its own right.

“Don’t do that to yourself Danny. You gave him options and you did the best you could and at the end of the day it was his decision. You’re a good man and you can try as hard as you want but sometimes people will choose a different path.” Steve embraced him tighter and it seemed to have a calming effect. They stayed like that for a little while before he pulled away and led Danny up the stairs.

After he changed into spare clothes and used the bathroom, Danny got into bed, inhaling deeply as he absorbed the relaxing smell of Steve lingering in the sheets.

“I’ll be right downstairs if you need anything okay, just give me a shout.” Steve reluctantly headed for the door before he heard Danny call out.

“Hey Steve…” he paused for a moment, hoping he wouldn’t sound too childish with his request. “Lie with me a while, will ya?”

“Of course.”  

 

* * *

 

As Danny lay in bed, he thought back to when the idea of him and Steve became less of an idea and more of a reality. Before the whole Matty stuff remerged, he noticed that occasional hugs turned into frequent hugs, and sometimes for no particular reason. After they’d been hanging out and Danny was leaving to go home, Steve would walk him to the door and they’d hug for a brief moment, even though they’d see each other the next day. Frequent hugs became kisses on the head after Steve would do something stupid and Danny would feel so overwhelmed at the thought of him being hurt, as they hugged, he kissed his forehead before ranting. 

Somewhere along the line, the kisses and hugs became natural and either man expected and welcomed them when it happened. Then after a particularly bad day which involved preventable deaths, both mustered up the courage to properly kiss; in comfort, desperation and because they had been putting it off for too long. Within the time things began to emerge, they’d taken it slow since both men were new to it.

“Steve?”

He propped himself up on one elbow to look at Danny, who was lying face upwards towards the ceiling. “Yeah babe?”

“When did you know you wanted more? I mean with us. And how do you know you wanted it?”

Steve took a moment to string the sentences together.

“When we began working together I thought we clicked- despite the whole nearly shooting each other. Even though we’re like opposites you just got me and made me feel like I was a complete person. And some days I wondered what it would be like to kiss you and hold you. It just felt right when I did it, like we’d been saying it with our eyes the whole time but I just knew when I held you I wanted to do it again and again.”

Danny was now facing Steve and he reached over to kiss him, their lips brushing together and finding the warmth of one another. With his spare hand, Steve rubbed Danny’s back gently, soothing him until he spoke again a few minutes later.

“If all this hadn’t happened, if I wasn’t such a mess right now, would we still be heading in that direction?”

“Are you trying to say, is this happening because of the place you’re at?” Steve frowned sadly at the thought of Danny interpreting their relationship wrong, although, in a way it also allowed him to share his feelings.

“A bit.”

“Maybe we wouldn’t be cuddling in bed today, but I can promise you if not today, it would have been tomorrow or the day after. I want to do all the things people in love do with you, whenever they happen because this is it for me D. This is all I want or need and the only place I ever want to be. I just wanna be with you Danno.”

Danny paused. “I love that you came with me to Columbia and let me deal with things with my family but tried to comfort me every day. I love everything you’ve done for me and Grace over the past years; the way you fought by my side to keep her on the island, and how you’re actively involved in her life. I love how fiercely you love me, Steve. I love you. Thank you.”

He whispered into Steve’s chest wanting to hide the tears in his eyes but moved to face him when he felt the dampness on the side of his head.

A moment later, the two were kissing  as though they’d reconnected after years and the taste of each other along with the saltiness of their tears was a mark of how far they’d come, the difficulties they’d gone through and the times that lay ahead.


End file.
